The year has come to an end and another is beginning. I can’t help but take a flashback on a couple of things I did or didn’t do lessons I learnt and didn’t learn. Generally this year has been a little tough if I may say so, the thing that kept me going is the belief that tough times don’t last but tough people do and the fact that no situation is permanent as nothing lasts forever.
There are so many things I would have loved to accomplish before the end of this year but didn’t, due to one reason or another. I must confess that there some resolutions that I made last year and I was hoping to have accomplished them by the end of the year but I didn’t. Does that make me feel disappointed or discouraged? Honestly, yes but with these comes a few important lessons that I have had to learn along the way.
Having made a couple of resolutions and having failed terribly at some, this coming year I choose not to make any resolutions whatsoever. I will instead focus on the lessons I learnt as I navigated past the 365 mostly tough days and focus on the growth part of the experience. As John Maxwell quoted, “Facing difficulties is inevitable, learning from them is optional”.
Here are a few lessons that I will take to the next year, as I look forward to betters days.
I have a lot to be thankful for
When I look within and around me, I can’t help but be grateful for the beauty and blessings that surrounds me. It’s the small things that count because when assembled, you actually see how significant they are. Happiness is a choice and though it’s hard to stay happy always, it is my opinion that being grateful tends to help one stay happy.
Goals and resolutions can take longer to manifest than expected
You can put a timeline to something but that does not mean it will play out exactly as you want it to.And it is okay if it doesn’t because life is unpredictable. Just Push harder and don’t despair.Great things take time. When desires are fulfilled in a blink of an eye, you generally have nothing to look forward to. Instant gratification has no value attached to it. As they say, easy come easy go. There is something intriguing about progress and anticipation as you work towards something you believe in. That joy is unbeatable.
Deal with the present
“The past is a ghost, the future a dream and all we ever have is the now.”_ Bill Cosby .Past experiences throw a spanner in our belief systems, and the uncertainties of the future make us anxious, but the truth is, life is here and now. Where you are is exactly where you are supposed to be, to get to where you want to go tomorrow. Don’t let the past nor the future get in the way of your present.
Experiences make you grow
Expectations make life unbearable most of the times, if you ask me.The things that surprise me and make a big impact in my life are truly the ones wrapped in ways I don’t expect. Life isn’t harder or easier than it is thought of, it’s just that when going through all those phases, the timing is usually unexpected and one anticipates it differently. Living life as it is has helped me appreciate it more than expecting things to be a certain way. Experience, growth and resilience is what you pick when things don’t go as you planned. Accept, learn and move forward, as these attributes will help you deal with what is ahead.
Attitude and mindset go along way
It is said, change your thoughts and you change your reality. It can’t be all good in paradise, even roses have thorns among them. Pain is part of life, and the minute you accept that, you set yourself free. Life is full of ups and down, and my life is no exception. That is what I am learning. When it rains, it pours. Sometimes you can experience what seems like endless challenges but that should not warrant hopelessness. A lot of times, you find yourself asking, why me? But then always pause and ask, why not me? Negativity should not weigh you down. You only learn to be strong enough when being strong is the only option.
You are not solo
We are all fighting the same battles. When going through challenging times, it’s easy to feel alone and think that other people are doing fine, but that is not the case. There are many others out there going through the same emotions and if they could have the courage to speak up, then you would realize we all fighting the same battles. You don’t have to feel disappointed, ashamed or embarrassed with your emotions and situations. Being and feeling desperate at times is normal in life but you are not alone. Having a family and friends who really understand and support you during those times gives you sanity and strength to keep going.
I want freedom and therefore I chose to be responsible for what I am going through. I cannot go around blaming others for the things that have happened or not happened throughout my year and life. Therefore I take responsibility for my happiness and unhappiness in equal measure. I am accountable for my choices and I choose to take control of my circumstances and make choices that are different no matter what. I choose to listen to myself more.
You cannot be validated by other people
Success has different meaning to all of us. Success is defined by self, not by the opinions of others. What you believe in, what makes you happy and what you are working to achieve is what really matters, not what the masses go by. You really don’t need to be validated by anyone. Don’t live up to people’s expectations of you and don’t expect people to live by yours either.Success is not determined by how popular you are or your celebrity status, Significance isn’t determined by how famous you are and being impressive isn’t determined by how flashy or flamboyant you are. Just because you are quiet in your corner doesn’t mean you are not efficient and significant.You are valuable as you are. Period.
Embrace quiet success which is significant as well and real, not everybody has to know what you have achieved or what you are doing especially in this error of social media.