The other day I was watching an update on the Covid-19 pandemic when this beautiful young lady who happened to have recovered from the same [patient 0] was introduced to us by the cabinet secretary in the ministry of health. Standing alongside was patient no. 1 who was a young man. Later on that evening the lady graced one of the various T.V stations to talk about her journey to recovery. I was happy about her progress and prayed the rest of the infected and affected people would have similar encouraging stories to tell at the end of this global pandemic and I left it at that. To my surprise that was not the end of this lady’s story as the following day there were semi-nude photos or perhaps photo shops circulating on social media of the said lady and the comments regarding her body startled me.
Then there was the queen of tiktok as many referred to her dancing to the utawezana song and majority of the social media community were very busy trolling the lady about her slim figure, unique smile, hairstyle you name it. I was tempted to let these and other cases go by but I realized that body shaming is something that happens all the time. I feel that this is one of the most underrated and overlooked issues in today’s society. Both men and women are body shamed but in my view women are haunted more. When you scroll through most social media pages, especially those of your favorite celebrities, you will not miss a bunch of comments from people body shaming them.In our midst, we experience body shaming comments all the time. Some are usually downplayed while others are sugarcoated so that they are brushed off without much thought. It’s disappointing that some people actually love to make others feel terrible about themselves then cover it up in the name of humor. When you judge someone by their appearance, it does not define them, it defines you as a person.
The fact of the matter is, we can’t all look the same and we will never look the same
Can you imagine if we all looked the same, with the same features, same height, same head sizes, same everything? If we were all named Alice or John? Imagine how that would have played out? Imagine how boring that would have been? Would you be happier if we all looked like ants? I mean I could go on and on, but I guess you get the drift.Diversity is a beautiful and wonderful thing.Diversity is normal.What is abnormal is people’s irrational expectations when it comes to bodies and bashing other people for their type of body.
Our appearances are all cool and it is not for you to judge what is or isn’t
We would do well to remember everyone has an opinion it is after all our default setting however, no matter who you are or what you may have achieved you have no right to force your opinions down our collective throats.Parky boobs are cool, Saggy boobs are cool.It’s cool to have a small butt, just as it’s cool to have a big butt. It’s okay to have thighs that touch at the top, or stretchmarks or cellulite or scars.Beauty standards are arbitrary. They should not give you any reason to hate yourself.Someone has to be tall or taller, someone has to be short or shorter.Someone has to be fat or fatter, another has to be slim or slimmer.Perfect is a social construct. Constructs are mental frameworks that people build in order to make sense of the world around them and one of the key features of an effective construct is that it quickly begins to seem “natural” or inevitable rather than made up.What is not cool is telling us how we should or should not look based on your worldview.
It’s not in your place to advise someone what to do with their bodies
It’s a high time we learn to let people be. Whether you like how they look or not. Let it be their choice on how they want to look like, whether they want to improve their appearance or not, it is none of your business. I hear comments like add some weight, men don’t like skinny mamas as if your self-worth is determined by men. If chubby, you got to lose some weight, nobody likes fat women, yet most of us are surrounded by fat mothers, fat aunties, fat sisters and we love them to death.Do we tell them what to do with their bodies? Not really we accept and love them just the way they are.
There is more to life than how we look like
“To love yourself right now, just as you are, is to give yourself heaven. Don’t wait until you die. If you wait, you die now. If you love, you live now” – Alan Cohen
“If we make self-love or body acceptance conditional, the truth is, we will never be happy with ourselves. The reality is that are bodies are constantly changing, and they will never remain the same. If we base our self- worth on something as ever-changing as our bodies, we will forever be on an emotional roller coaster of body obsession and shame” – Chrissy King
Self-love is priceless and it can’t be determined by gaining or losing weight or whether you achieve your goals or not. It has to begin now and should be unconditional.No one should intimidate you into trying to fix your body, because it was never broken in the first place.We all have shortcomings, but choose to love yourself no matter what. No one should dictate how you feel about your body. Embrace your whole self and be comfortable in your body. Never allow anybody to make you feel ashamed about it.Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder, well guess what, another way of looking at it would be that beholder is none other than you. The Bible dictates that we are all fearfully and wonderfully made.
Quit Fit shaming, it is as wrong as Fat Shaming
Sometime back I decided to head to the gym and I could not believe what I was hearing.“What are you going to lose now? You are already small” suddenly, it felt like it was a crime for me to step in to a gym because I am “skinny”. Unknown to many, I was not heading to the gym so I could lose weight. I work out to be fit, for my health and for my satisfaction not for anyone’s judgement.People should learn to respect other people’s choices. Be it in health, fitness, losing weight, adding weight regardless of our body size. Insecure people often take personal choices as an attack against their own.I have come to learn that a lot of those negative comments come from insecure people who are struggling with their own body issues, they want to make themselves feel better by putting you down or shaming your choices. Often their inappropriate comments have nothing to do with your personal choices. Therefore you might as well do you and be happy with yourself and your progress.It’s your Journey. We can only strive for progress not perfection.
We are all struggling with certain aspects of our bodies but it’s important to accept yourself as you are. You are okay just the way you are and there is also nothing wrong with wanting to work towards a better you but it has to be your personal choice.
I will leave you with this quotes:
“Speak to your body in a loving way, it’s the only one you got. It’s your home and it deserves your respect.”- Iskra Lawrence
“I don’t look in the mirror and go, ‘Oh I look fantastic!’ Of course I don’t. Nobody is perfect. I just don’t believe in perfection. But I do believe in saying, ‘This is who I am and look at me not being perfect!’ I’m proud of that.”- kate Winslate